


Make Me Feel Good

by lightsabove



Category: British Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 09:46:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightsabove/pseuds/lightsabove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have a scarring past that makes you terrified of having a relationship, but your best friend shows you what real love is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me Feel Good

**Author's Note:**

> TITLE: Make Me Feel Good
> 
> FANDOM: Benedict Cumberbatch
> 
> PAIRING: Benedict/Reader
> 
> RATING: NC-17/Adult/18+
> 
> WARNINGS: mention of abusive relationships, rape, scarring, and to make it better passionate sex with Benedict

You feel his eyes on you as you lounged in a chair on the back porch. Your neighbor, and best friend, Benedict is leaning against the frame of his back door. You kept your eyes on the book you are reading, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach that always made you panic. He had been trying to get you to go out on an official date with him for the last few weeks, but each time you have to answer honestly – you aren’t ready.

After your disastrous marriage finally ended in divorce seven months ago, you decided to work through all your baggage. You still had scares, physically and emotional, from the man who beat you, broke you, all through the four years of marriage. The year before your wedding day he had been a perfect gentleman, only showing his true colors the first night of your honeymoon.

“Can I join you?”

You slowly look up to see Ben making his way towards you. He has a soft smile on his cupid bow lips, his hair only a bit darker than his natural auburn hair, blowing lightly in the breeze. You send him a smile and gesture to the seat next to you. He sits down with a sigh, raising his arms so his hands were at the back of his head as he leaned back in the chair.

“How was your trip?” you asked, putting your face back into your book, but not reading. Ben kept his gaze off in the distance – he knew staring at you would make you have a panic attack.

“Lovely. Busy, but lovely. I missed you,” he added, glancing over at you. You feel your face blush as he close the book and put it down on the side table between the chairs.

“Ben, please, I told you –”

“I’m sorry! I know, I know,” he acknowledges, moving to lean forward with his elbows on his knees. He runs a hand through his hair. He clasps is hands in front of him, staring hard at the ground. “I have feelings for you. I want to be there for you, making you smile, drive those shadows from your eyes -”

“It’ll lead to sex. I can’t. I just  _can’t_ ,” you say, your voice growing hoarse as tears gather in your eyes. You sniffle and swallow back tears as you get up and hurriedly walk into the home, into the kitchen. You hear Ben follow softly behind you.

“I don’t expect sex –”

“Not  _now,_  but you will!” you exclaim, desperate for him to understand. “The only person I’ve never had sex with beat me and scared me for life! Just the thought of some man touching my body makes me want to curl up in a corner and die.”

“Darling, I know it takes time, I understand,” Ben whispers, moving to take your hands in his. It’s comforting – his touch is the only male touch you can tolerate. “I promise I will never force you, when you’re ready, you make all the moves.”

“I don’t know how,” you whisper, blinking back tears as you look away.

“I’m here for you. I’m falling head over heels in love with you. I don’t care how long it’ll take,” Benedict confesses quietly, squeezing your hands just a bit, enough to gain your attention and have you look back into his eyes. Your breath catches as he gazes lovingly at you.

“I… I’m not worth… I have ugly scares, literally…” you stutter, swallowing hard. The look on Benedict’s face makes you want to hide in you room from shame, never letting him inside again.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re worth everything,” he sighs. You see tears in his eyes and you clinch your jaw. “May I hold you?”

You blink – no one has just asked to do that.

“Y-yes.” A relieved smile spread softly over his lips and you close your eyes as his arms envelope you. Leaning against his chest, you hear his heartbeat. Your arms go cautiously around his waist. Benedict and you stand there for a moment, quietly. You pull back and he looks concerned, but you smile up at him. “I… want to show you my scars.”

He licks his lips and nods, his eyes full of concern, love, and openness. It was very new to you, and he deserved to see you as you truly were. You take a deep breath and slowly pull your tank-top up and over your head. Ben opens his mouth, but you know the shades are drawn and no one can see. You feel panic grip your chest, standing there in a pair of jean shorts and a white bra, but you ignore it and turn around. You hear Benedict take in a breath as he sees your first scar as you hold up your long hair.

At the top of your back, right in the middle, were the words “MINE” and “SLUT” crudely carved into your skin. It takes a lot of willpower to not start sobbing, but you proudly contain your tears. Before Ben can say anything, you start to talk, dropping your hair over your shoulder, but staying with your back to him.

“We didn’t have sex until our wedding night. That was the night he turned into who he really was. Before he took what he wanted, he made me kneel in the middle of the room, naked, and carved those words into me.”

You shudder and clinch your fists at your side. You hear a choke from behind you and turn with a deep breath. You unbutton your jean shorts and slide them down, exposing your simple white cotton bikini pants. Benedict’s eyes are on the scare high on your thighs, so high that shorts can cover it on both thighs.

“This was from the night before I got away. He and a friend raped me, then they carved these.”

You swallow and stare at a spot behind Benedict’s eyes as he takes in your hideous scar tissue. On the left thigh it was one word “WHORE”, and the other thigh had a crude heart. You clear your throat before starting again.

“I have small scars where he would cut me when he took sex from me. The small cuts on my thighs and arms are from him. People say they are faded, barely noticeable, but I see them every time I look in the mirror.”

Benedict whispers your name, tearfully looking into your eyes. You feel your bottom lip trembling, and you see him struggle not to pull you to him.

“I… I don’t want to frighten you… I want… need… I need to hold you,” he says hoarsely. A tear finally slips down your cheek as you step to him. Your arms go around each other immediately, and you bury your head into his chest, squeezing him just as tightly as he is squeezing you. You sob quietly into his chest, and find yourself being lifted into his arms. He carries you to the couch, sitting you on his lap as he takes a seat. Your thighs are on each side of his.

“Ben…” you whisper longingly. Your body takes over, needing to take his warmth, his love, his care. Your hands find his cheeks and you pull his lips into a long awaited kiss. His hands stay softly around your waist, and his mouth takes cues from yours. You feel a bit frightened, but then you realize who was holding you – Benedict – your best friend, your confidant, the man you trust with your life.

Benedict moans your name as you run your tongue over his lips. You let out a breath over his lips and start to kiss him harder than you have ever before. His fingers squeeze your hips as you rub against him, your body automatically responds and you pull back with a gasp. Panic grips your chest, and you look wide-eyed into Ben’s eyes. They were dark and desire-filled, and his mouth was a bit bruised from her quick assault. You put your hands on his shoulders.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Tell me what you want. It’s you, not me, right now…”

“I’m… I’m scared,” you confess with a whisper. You feel yourself slightly shaking in his arms.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No,” you say with a shake of your head. “I just… I just don’t… know…” You stop and swallow while Ben waits patiently for you to find words. “I want you to… show me… good things…” You feel your face turn red as you struggle not to push away from him.

“Are you sure?” Ben whispers hoarsely, slowly moving toward your lips. You nod wide-eyed, although you still feel alarmed. “Sweetheart, don’t push yourself if you can’t –”

“Yes. I’m sure. You’re the only man that makes me feel  _good_ ,” you answer, knowing it sounded pathetic, but needing to tell him.

“You’re wonderful, the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman I have ever met,” Benedict says with a proud smile. You return it with a small, shaky smile, and he gently pushes you off of him. You furrow your brows, frowning, wondering if you did something wrong. He sends you a reassuring smile and takes your hand, leading you to your bedroom.

You appreciate that he made a point to do this in your place – it made it easier to feel like you were in control. Excitement, anticipation, and a little bit of trepidation whirled through your body. He went to close the door behind you, but stopped to turn to you.

“May I close the door?” he asks politely. It made a real smile pull at your lips.

“Yes,” you say, letting out a small chuckle. You see his eyes light up at your laugh, and it makes you yearn for him more. He closes the door and turns to look at you. You fidget as you realize you are wearing just plain lingerie. He probably is used to models with pretty expensive undergarments. You cover your breasts with your arms and move her leg to cover your thighs.

“I meant what I said,” Ben said softly. You can’t speak as he undresses himself in front of you. His eyes are cloudy and dark as his big hands pull up his t-shirt and slowly takes it off. His chest is sprinkled with hair, and his body is nicely toned. A fleeting thought of how pudgy you are goes through your mind, but when you look into his eyes it flies out the window. He slides his hands sensually down his stomach to the buttons on his pants. “Are you still okay?” he asks.

You nod, sitting down slowly at the edge of the bed, watching with wide eyes. A smirk appears on his face as he slowly undoes the button in his jeans. His eyes bore into yours as he unzips slowly. Your chest is starting to heave slightly and your hands hold tightly onto the blanket underneath your fingers. Your body is trembling with desire, new and beautiful to your mind.

Your eyes leaves his to move to his hands as he slowly pushes his trousers and boxers down his legs. You do your best to ignore his straining manhood as he pulls his legs out. He gently tosses them to the side, completely naked in front of you. You stare at his thighs until he clears his throat, than you immediately move your eyes to his.

“May I undress you?” You suck in a breath as you nod, again. Your voice doesn’t work, but he doesn’t seem to mind. You stand up slowly as he approaches you cautiously. The fact that he’s making sure you are comfortable spurs your desire. He puts a palm to your cheek and presses his lips softly against yours. You breathe him in, nothing touching except the hand and your lips, moving slowly over yours. There is no tongue, but it makes the spot between your thighs burn even more. He pulls away, and you reach up to run your hands through his hair over one of his ears. A small moan comes out of his mouth as his eyes fluttered shut for a second.

“S-sorry,” you murmur, pulling your hand away quickly.

“Never be sorry for making me moan with pleasure,” he replies with a broken voice. He steps close so your chests are brushing against one another, and you look up at his face as he reaches around with both hands to unhook the bra. It falls away, and he pulls the straps over your shoulders. You step back to let it fall, and then you are bare from the waist up. You swallow hard, feeling exposed, as your nipples harden under his stare. “Beautiful,” he murmurs. You smile bashfully.

You expect him to reach for your white pants, but both of his hands envelope your breasts, slowly kneading them. You take in a shaky breath as your fists clench at your side and you tip your head back. Your eyes flutter shut as he continues his ministrations, then his breath is on your neck. His front is brushing against your front as his lips scorch your skin. His presses gentle kisses along your neck and to your jaw and his fingers rub over your nipples. You arch against him with a throaty groan, and your eyes pop open. He stops moving his hands, but keeps them on your breasts and pulls his head away to look at you. He raises his eyebrows to make sure you are okay.

“Please,” you murmur, not sure what to say, but not willing to take any more teasing. You move your hands between your bodies, looking down as you brush your fingers against his cock. It twitches, and you hear him holding his breath as he moves his hands to your hips.

“Don’t feel obligated, darling, to touch me,” he says, his voice straining. You glance at his face, and see his whole body is straining as well.

“I… want to… “ you reply, moving your eyes back to the bobbing flesh in front of you. You grip it softly in your hands, and Benedict’s head falls back with a loud groan. His response is nothing you expected. You move your hand up and down his cock, liking the way his hips twitched and a strangled noise came from his mouth. “Is this okay?”

“Absolutely,” he breathes. “I hate to stop you, but I’m not finished with showing you how beautiful and desirable you are.” He takes your hands away from him. “Lay down on the bed, please?” You want to groan with desire from his politeness, but instead you just do as he says. When you’re flat on the bed, with your head in the pillow, he crawls over you, watching you for any anxieties. When you smile at him, he returns it with his own and moves his lips to the top of your breasts. He pauses, looks at you, and then continues.

Benedict presses light kisses over your breasts, making a point to not touch your nipples. You whimper, and he stops to look up at you, concerned.

“Don’t stop,” you say, and Benedict chuckles as his lips return to your chest. He eventually gets to your nipples, touching them with the tip of his tongue. Your hands are above your head, gripping the blanket, as he takes a nipple into his mouth and gently sucks. You arch up into him, but he pulls away a bit, making sure that only his lips are touching you.

You make a note that his arms are trembling, and satisfaction of making him weak with desire works its way through your mind. He spends time lavishing your nipples, making you moan and twitch. Your head is filled with clumsy thoughts, surprise and awe coming over you at the amazing feelings you are having. He moves his way down, making a path of kisses down your stomach, to your hips, and you freeze as his lips huddle over your thighs.

You move your arms, placing him on his shoulders, and gently push at him. He looks back up to you, his eyes questioning. You stare at him a moment, taking in the sweat that is on his brow, and the way his breath huffs over your skin.

“Yes?”

“It’s horrible,” you answer faintly. Benedict looks at you with compassion, but instead of moving away like you thought, he looks back down and brushes his lips against the ragged heart on your thigh. Your thigh twitches and you move your hands onto his head as need runs through your body.

“No, you are beautiful.”

“Ben, it’s hideous,” you say, tears coming into your eyes as you tug at his hair. He quickly moves up and over you, pressing his body fully against yours as his hands are on either side of your body. His lips kiss your tears away. You let out a breath to calm yourself and open your eyes. He is looking down at you, not of pity, but of concern and love.

“I meant it when I said I love you. Please, don’t cry. We’ll stop,” he said with a smile as he pulled back to lay next to you. Your heart flutters wildly as his body heat is taken away from yours. You lay next to him, on your back while he is on his side, his head propped up on his hand.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, looking away.

“Don’t be,” he answers in a whisper. You both lay there for a while, and Benedict turns to his back. You place your head on his chest, your arm over his stomach, and he holds you with one hand while the other is behind his head. The skin contact is nice, comforting. You think for a moment – instead of convincing you to keep going, to have sex, he stopped. He didn’t even argue.

At that moment, you realize something very important. Benedict is everything you’ve wanted, perfectly imperfect, and there was no way he was going to hurt you. Instead of making you afraid of him, as in your ex-husband, he was making you trust him. This is the kind of love and partnership you had never thought about.

Without a second thought, you made up your mind. You push yourself up, and move to straddle Benedict. He looks up at you in surprise, and his hips raise to brush his cock against your slit.

“You don’t have to –” he pleads desperately, although his hands on your hips are squeezing. You feel his whole body trembling underneath your hands as you run your hands over his chest, flicking his nipples.

“I want to. I need to. I love you,” you reply, moving slightly so he can slid into you. In the back of your mind, you realize that a condom should be used, but at the moment it would ruin what you had worked so hard towards – trust.

Benedict groans as he lifts his hips to slide into you further, and you throw your head back with a gasp as you feel your walls around him. He is thick and hard inside you, and he fills you up perfectly.

“Ben,” you whimper, looking back down at him. “I… I… Oh, god, what do I do?” you gasp desperately.

“Hold onto me,” he growls, throwing an arm around you back and rolling so you are underneath him. You are surprised he is still inside you, and wrap your legs around his waist.

“Please. I need… I need… I don’t know, I just need!” you cry. He groans, kisses all over your face as he thrusts slowly, back and forth. Your body is about to explode from the wall of emotions that you are running into. He whispers soft, sweet words as he brings you higher and higher. He moves his hand between both of you, flicking the bud just above where he is thrusting. You cry out, clinging to his shoulders as he rocks into you harder.

“Ben!” you cry as you crash straight into the wall of pleasure. You shudder and cling to him as he pumps a few more times, letting out a guttural cry as he finishes. You hold him close as he trembles after his climax. After a few more moments of holding one another, Ben gently pulls out and rolls both of you to the side. You face each other and look into one another’s eyes as you try to calm your breathing.

“That’s the first time I’ve... Well… don’t that,” you murmur shyly.

“What?” he asks curiously, brushing a strand of hair away from your eyes.

“Um. Finished. Like that.”

“You mean orgasmed?”

“Yes.”

Benedict chuckles and kisses you lightly on the lips, pulling you closer.

“I could get used to holding you.”

“I meant what I said. How I… love you.”

“I know. I love you, too, darling,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against your forehead. “Don’t push yourself. Only give what you are able to, we will figure this out.”

 

“I know,” you answer, happiness swallowing your mind. It was something you hadn’t experienced in a long time, and it was rather nice.


End file.
